On Sunday, I had a terrific realisation. I felt like chillin' out - so I did. At the end of the day, curiously, I felt absolutely no guilt about that!
"Curiously?" you ask? Well, yes!
There was a time when I could not conceive of relaxing because that was an unmitigated waste of time and life is so short! The sad part of that whole story was that I really did believe it; and it cost me!
It cost dearly really, because of the simple pleasures that I have somehow managed to miss along the way. The days when I could have, and really should have, gone to watch my children play football - or simply taken a stroll along the shores of a lake with my wife.
I am quite 'gutted' now, to think that all that time that I spent worrying about things that I really could not control. The irony is that I knew that I couldn't control those things anyway - but somehow wantonly watched myself waste that valuable time regardless. Is this rational - and more importantly - is this sane behaviour?
Well, I'd hazard a guess that it is neither and as I sit here and write, I can't help but smile because of the senselessness of it all.
I know that once I publish this - I'll gaze upon it later, and be ashamed of the stupidity which I allow to take hold in my mind.
I think that part of the learning process, and the 'improving process' - is having the courage to face up to my imperfections and allow them to just simply be.
I think that I once heard that in the entire universe, only one kind of thing is perfect - and that is the timing of the light emitted by a pulsar. I am not an astrophysicist, so I have no idea whether that is true or not - but suppose it is - hell, then I am in great company. Nothing else in the Universe is perfect - just like me.
So, I guess my 'perfect school teachers' fall into that mould too. They probably weren't perfect either.
I wonder - might not that have been (and still be) a valuable lesson to teach to children?